


Tony Stark's Greatest Hits

by mrhd



Category: Marvel 616
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 19:57:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11215206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrhd/pseuds/mrhd
Summary: Tony's friends know it's their duty to introduce Steve to his boyfriend's various fashion disasters.





	Tony Stark's Greatest Hits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChaoticGoodTwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticGoodTwin/gifts).



> Takes place somewhere pretty far back now in 616 canon. Definitely pre-cw (yes the first one) and all it's angst. I've fudged the timeframe and given them all smartphones, even though this would take place in comics probably published around the 80s/90s.

It’s all Jan’s fault, because of course it is. She’s known Tony the longest, since they were children, and she loves to bring up old dirt on him. Honestly, he should probably be grateful that she waited until _after_ Steve had agreed to date him to start bringing up the old embarrassing stories.

The three of them are sprawled on the floor of the mansion, tired but still too energized from a successful fight to sleep.

Steve has his arm around Tony’s shoulders and is letting Tony lean against him as Jan sits on his other side, showing him old photos on her phone. They’re laughing over that time when Jan was sixteen and tried to give herself an undercut.

“I wanted to be edgy!” she says as Steve giggles. “My parents wouldn’t let me get it done, so I had to take matters into my own hands.”

“It’s not that bad,” Steve says kindly. “And I bet it didn’t take too long to grow out.”

Tony laughs. “You’re too nice, Steve. It was a disaster, I should know, I was there.”

Jan reaches across Steve to playfully flick Tony’s forehead. “Like you can talk,” she says, raising a significant eyebrow at Tony.

“What?” Tony asks. “I have good hair.”

“ _Now_ ,” Jan says, significantly.

Tony pouts at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies.

Steve is grinning, eyes bright. “Tell me,” he says, practically begging.

Jan grins back at him. “I can do better than that. I have _pictures_.”

Tony groans. “Jan,” he whines.

“Oh, shut up,” Jan says dismissively, scooting even closer to Steve. “Conceivably _everyone_ could have pictures, Tony. It’s the curse of being a public figure.”

Tony huffs and glares at her.

“The perm was good,” Jan says, “but I think my favorite look, Tony, was your pornstache.”

“Pornstache?” Steve repeats, his grin growing.

“Yup,” Jan says, popping the _p_ sound. She’s already scrolling through her phone.

“Let me see,” Steve demands, his voice filled with badly disguised glee.

“It was not a pornstache,” Tony argues pointlessly.

“Oh, it was,” Jan says, nodding for emphasis.

Then she pulls up the photo, and Steve bursts out laughing.

“I hate you both,” Tony complains.

Jan just joins in with Steve’s laughter.

“Oh, Tony, I’m sorry,” Steve says in between chuckles. He pats absentmindedly at Tony’s side.

Tony frowns at him. “No you’re not.”

Steve gives him a sweet smile, humor still etched into his expression and Tony’s heart thumps. Steve reaches out with the hand not on Tony’s shoulder and traces a finger over Tony’s van dyke. “This is much better,” he says.

“Glad you like it,” Tony says dryly.

“I do,” Steve murmurs, leaning in for a kiss.

Tony kisses him back despite his lingering grumpiness.

They break apart when Jan begins applauding.

Tony flips her off.

Jan laughs again as she stands, stretching. “I’ll leave you two love birds alone,” she says.

“Wait,” Steve says, “I need more pictures!”

Tony gives him a joking shove.

Steve rolls with it, wrapping his arms more securely around Tony’s shoulders and pulling him down with him.

Jan starts humming bad porn music under her breath as she leaves the room.

Tony opens his mouth to shout a complaint at her, but then Steve’s mouth is on his neck and he puts Jan out of his mind.

He should have known better, because after that, somehow, it becomes a Thing. Jan must have told, because the next time Pepper comes by early in the morning, while Steve and Tony are having breakfast, she lingers before saying, “Hey, Tony, do you still have that comb you used to stick in your hair?”

Steve almost certainly laughs, although he manages to cover it up by making it look like he’s choked on a piece of toast.

Tony glares at him anyways. “That was _once_ ,” he says to Pepper.

Pepper grins at him. “Really? Could have sworn you wore it for about a month…”

Across the table, Steve is very obviously biting his lip to keep from smiling.

“She lies,” Tony tells him.

Steve, still biting his lip, turns to look at Pepper. “Do you happen to have a picture?” he asks.

Tony waves a hand between the two of them. “She doesn’t!”

Pepper reaches around him and slides her phone towards Steve.

Tony makes a grab for it, but Steve’s reflexes are faster. Superpowers, dammit. He’s outright grinning now as he clearly flips through photos Pepper had brought up on her phone, the sneak.

“I could fire you,” Tony informs Pepper.

Pepper ignores him, clearly recognizing it for the empty threat it really is.

Across the table, Steve is very obviously fighting to keep his expression from betraying anything.

“You can laugh,” Tony sighs.

Steve doesn’t laugh, because he’s nice and sweet like that, but he does break into a big grin. Pepper, the traitor, _does_ laugh.

“You were so proud of that haircut,” she teases, her tone a mocking kind of fond. “Just had to make sure everyone noticed it.”

“How many pictures do you have of that, anyways,” Tony says, making another grab for her phone.

Steve keeps it out of Tony’s reach, but manages to hand it back to Pepper. “Send them to me?” he asks, a shit-eating grin back on his face.

“Already in your inbox,” Pepper says, wearing a matching grin.

“You didn’t have to email them to him,” Tony says, crossing his arms. “I’m sure he could have googled them.”

“Aw, don’t sulk,” Pepper says, patting his shoulder.

“Yeah, baby, don’t sulk,” Steve says, still smiling.

The coffee maker beeps, indicating that it’s done, and giving Tony an excuse to ignore both Steve and Pepper. He takes the whole pot, along with his mug. “Traitors don’t get coffee,” he grumbles, stalking out of the room.

He should have known that Jan and Pepper were just biding their time, waiting to mock him. But Rhodey…he’d honestly thought that Rhodey loved him more than this. Which is why he feels so betrayed when Rhodey sits himself down between Tony and Steve, slings an arm around both their shoulders and says, “So, Tony, I hear you’re finally admitting that you have terrible fashion sense.”

Tony sighs and shoves at him, but Rhodey doesn’t go anywhere. “I do not,” Tony objects. “Jan and Pepper are just cherry picking moments of weakness.”

“Oh, are they?”

There’s a gleam in Rhodey’s eye that Tony’s not sure he likes, and an answering gleam in Steve’s that he definitely doesn’t.

“Are they?” Steve asks Rhodey.

“You’ll appreciate this one,” Rhodey says.

“No he won’t!” Tony says. “Because he won’t see it!” He makes a grab for Rhodey’s phone, but Rhodey was clearly expecting it and dodges. He turns on the couch, dropping the arm he had around Tony’s shoulders so Tony comes up against his back as he lunges forward.

“I _really_ think you’ll like this one, Steve,” Rhodey says again, grabbing Tony’s wrist when he sneaks his hand around Rhodey’s side to try and grab the phone.

It’s too late for that anyways; Rhodey’s phone is securely in Steve’s hands now, and with Rhodey’s body between them, Tony can’t reach it.

At least this time, Steve doesn’t burst into laughter. Instead his eyes go wide and he makes a weird sort of choked sound. “ _Tony_ ,” he says.

“What?” Tony asks. “Let me see, oh my god, Rhodey what did you show him?”

Rhodey is shaking with silent laughter, but he gets himself together for long to say, “Remember those ridiculously short shorts you used to have?”

“Oh,” Tony says, remembering them suddenly with extreme clarity. It had been a long time ago, and the shorts had been almost short enough to not count as shorts any longer. They’d also been frayed and ripped, and he’d _known_ it. He’d only worn them because he’d been trying to show off his legs and ass to an oblivious Rhodey. “The ones I wore to try and flirt with you?”

“Is that what you were doing?” Rhodey teases.

Steve’s eyes are flicking back and forth between the two of them and the pictures on the phone in his hand. “Tony,” he says again, his voice low. “Do you, um, still have these shorts?”

Rhodey bursts into proper laughter between them, but Tony looks Steve straight in the eyes and says, “Yes.”

Steve’s eyes go dark and he hands Rhodey back his phone before reaching around him to tug Tony off the couch with him as he stands. “Thanks, Jim!” he calls back as he tugs Tony upstairs towards his room.

In the end, Tony can’t find it in him to be too mad at Rhodey.

His goodwill lasts about a week before he comes back home to find Steve sitting cross-legged on his bed flipping through, of all things, a photo album.

When Tony closes the door with a soft click, Steve looks up. “Hello,” he says.

“Reading?” Tony asks, coming to sit beside him on the bed. He doesn’t like the smile on Steve’s face.

“Not exactly,” Steve admits, that grin still on his face.

Tony leans over and gets to see exactly what the album has photos of. “Jesus fuck, who made this for you? Jan? Pepper?”

Steve continues to smile his I’m-Captain-America-trust-me smile at him, but Tony isn’t buying it.

He sighs and lets it go. “Go ahead, get it out of your system.”

“Well, I’m sure I missed out on a lot of fashion trends while I was frozen.” Steve’s voice is even, but his innocent expression twitches a bit.

“Did they really print out all these photos and put them in a book for you?” Tony says, flipping through the pages. There on one page, his hot pink tank top. The next, him lounging in only the shorts section of an old set of armor. With a huff he shuts the book, revealing a gold cover with the words _Tony Stark’s Greatest Hits_ in red lettering. “Unbelievable.”

“I think it’s nice,” Steve says, his mouth still twitching. “I’ve always wanted to know more about you before we met.”

“Well now you know,” Tony says.

“Some of them aren’t so bad,” Steve says. “I rather like how you used to show off your arms and legs, you should definitely wear more tank tops and shorts.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Definitely,” Steve says, and he leans in for a kiss.

And _maybe_ Tony doesn’t mind his previous fashion missteps being brought to light too much if it can put Steve in this kind of mood. Maybe.


End file.
